A good present can be hard to pick out, even if – and sometimes, especially if – you know them as intimately and deeply as you would a BDSM partner. Things can be complicated either way, for a Dom or a sub. What’s the best way to say “even though I own you, you own a piece of me too?” There are so many things to choose from, for so many different occasions – birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and just because. How can you tell what’s right for what?
Don’t worry. If you break things down and follow a few general tips, you’re sure to find something that will make her kiss your rings.
First Off, Don’t Go for Clichés
While a new collar or set of lingerie might be a good gift on certain occasions (anniversaries and holidays, for example), always giving them as the default gift will become old hat very quickly. Unless she’s a fashionista (or you both happen to destroy her collars and underthings on a regular basis) she probably won’t be able to wear all those pretty things you’re buying her. Of course, if she asks for new clothes, oblige her. But watch her expression as she accepts your gifts. She might be spilling thanks from her lips, but her eyes give away the sentiment, “ugh, another thong.” Don’t be fooled by simple words of praise. It’s a sub’s duty to lavish it on their master. It’s a Dom’s duty to make sure she lives up to it.
For the Everyday Gift, Flowers Can Say a Thousand Words
Be knowledgeable about your sub’s physical sensitivities – if she’s severely allergic to flowers, you clearly will want to skip this suggestion.
Flowers have been the go-to gift for romance for hundreds, if not thousands, of years, and it’s not hard to see why. Their beauty seems to only be amplified by their fleeting life, and the variety available even at the corner shop is staggering. The standard dozen red roses are beautiful, to be sure, but something of a cliché. It’s almost lazy when you have such a big range of other plants to choose from. Try brushing up on the Victorian language of flowers, especially if your sub has a romantic or intellectual side. Lovers in Victorian times assigned meanings to each and every flower known to the world of natural science, and sent each other bouquets packed with as many words as a letter.
To Buy Someone a Gift, Keep in Mind What They Like
Give her something personally geared toward her interests. The artsy sub will adore you for a set of new paints and paintbrushes, and the bookish one will be overjoyed at a new eReader. Be careful with gift cards – they’re rather impersonal, and assign an exact dollar amount to your actions. If you’re crafty yourself, you might consider making something with your own hands. Perhaps a personalized photo session to snap some pictures of her in all her submissive finery and an album for you to both enjoy together? If you’d like to make it into a couple’s album, visit alternative sites and forums to get the best reviews on private photographers with experience in the subculture.