You create your first impression online by how you fill in your profile. You can sabotage yourself in the beginning if you fill your profile with negative valued phrases and adjectives. Keep things positive and honest by minding your phrasing. You don’t have to lie in order to seem better. You can present the facts in a better light.
What are Positive and Negative Valued Phrases?
Positive and negative valued phrases refer to the spin that you give information. For example, say you work a 9-to-5 job in a challenging field. How do you think someone would judge your experience if you said “the grind” when you described it? What if you called it “the conquest” instead? When creating a profile you want to pack it with positive valued phrases. These are subliminal messages telling women that you’re a positive guy with positive experiences and they should feel positively about you.
We’ll start with a hard sell. If you have to mention your lack of employment in your profile, how could you put a positive spin on it? Instead of telling the world that you spend your days reading library books and taking typing classes in a desperate bid to raise your market value, try to make it sound like an adventure. Say something like, “I’m taking this chance to go through a period of vigorous self-improvement. I’m getting leaner, meaner, and more knowledgeable every day.”
The catch here is that these positive spins have to have some truth to them. If you’re actually spending your unemployment sitting on the sofa in sweat pants and finding out how many pizza places accept credit cards, you’re going to want to phrase this more as a period of relaxation for you.
Positive Hooking Up
Saying that you just want to meet a lot of women for a lot of sex is going to make your profile look sleazy. On the other hand, saying that you’re “actively searching for a connection” sounds a bit better. Taking it a step further by saying that you’re “looking for partners to explore all the roads to happiness with” will sound better as well.
“Whether our journey together will be one night, one week, one year, or the rest of our lives, there’s never a better time to start than tonight.” It sounds poetic and it sounds like you’re trying really hard to find someone suitable. Another guy would just snort and roll his eyes, but a woman can justify her text with the idea that at least she’s hooking up with an interesting man. By putting a positive spin on the experience of hooking up, you’re convincing her to see it that way as well.
With enough thought you can put a positive spin on everything from food allergies to having a criminal record. The facts themselves are never good or bad, just true. Every aspect of your profile can be tweaked and optimized without actually lying about it. Honesty is the best policy, but emotions aren’t always connected with facts.