Taboo? TaYAY: Everyone Has a Fetish
Worried about people finding out about your fetishes?
You’re not alone. Many people who live a fetish lifestyle fear that the people closest to them, or even total strangers, will find out that they’re secretly involved in stuff that isn’t considered “normal.”
It is true that those who live a fetish lifestyle are inclined to secrecy. For example, there’s a reason that certain branches of fetishism, such as sadomasochism, weren’t defined or even given descriptive words until the Marquis de Sade in the Nineteenth century. That’s barely 200 years ago since the dawn of human history.
The reason for that is that no one wants to come home and see their PVC clothing closet standing open. We worry what people think of us, we worry what people will say about us, and we worry about how people are going to react to us.
Everyone has a fetish.
Merriam-Webster defines a fetish as a “need or desire for an object, body part, or activity for sexual enjoyment.”
If this is the case, almost anything sexual is essentially a fetish other than the most basic of sex moves. Remember that it isn’t qualified as a need only, but can also be a desire. In other words, any man who likes to see a woman wearing high heels, for example, or a woman who wants a man to go down on her would technically have a fetish, since those things aren’t specifically necessary for sex to happen.
Anything can be a fetish.
For example, if you’ve ever role played or even dressed up with a partner, you’ve indulged in fetish play. If you ever though it would be hotter with the lights on, or done it against a window, or thought about doing it in a way that wasn’t entirely vanilla, you’ve experienced some desire to engage in fetish play by yourself or with a partner.
Even some things you wouldn’t consider to be fetishes can be considered fetishes, and are considered very “mainstream.” For example, men who only want to be with younger women are considered normal—however, if this is something they want for sex and not, for example, because they have a higher health and birth rate, it is technically a fetish.
Similarly, dirty talk and even the enjoyment of seeing a person in a short skirt (or seeing a man in a suit) can be a fetish. Any desire to use or covet an object or body part in a sexual way is a fetish.
Fetishes are nothing to be ashamed of.
If everyone has a fetish, why not be proud of yours? There’s even a national Kink Coming Out Day, a time when you can theoretically feel not only justified in coming out, but you can feel like part of a movement for a more equal, respected lifestyle.
After all, as long as kink is practiced responsibly and with consent, there’s no reason to feel ashamed about it. We’re all different, and that means that not every single moment of sexual intercourse is the same. Isn’t that diversity something everyone should be striving for?
Sometimes, the best fetish tips are the tips on how to live your life within the fetish lifestyle. Be who you are, don’t feel ashamed, and don’t let anyone try to tell you you’re weird for having a fetish. They probably just don’t know what theirs is yet!