No Pain, No Gain: Sadomasochism in Relationships
It’s unfortunate, but there’s a great misunderstanding when it comes to most sadomasochist relationships. Everyone assumes that the sadist (the person that enjoys delivering pain) is a cruel and violent person.
This isn’t the case at all, and with every single SM relationship, there is a great deal of trust, discussion, and consent involved that is regarded with the utmost amount of respect. It is important to make sure that any partner you find from fetish dating websites understands this as well.
There’s a big difference between abuse and SM relationships.
There are many people that try to equate SM relationships with domestic violence. Again, this isn’t the case at all. There are many ways to bring this sort of kink into the bedroom, but with outright violence and rage isn’t one of them.
Many fetish dating sites are also guilty of getting this sort of relationship wrong. They will paint the sadist as the person that enjoys hurting and only hurting, and the masochist as a complete loon. There are many different fetishists that can enjoy some degree of this kink, but it’s all in how it’s executed that counts.
Whatever the case may be, however, there is simply no reason to equate this kind of kink with being crazy or unhinged, because if anything, this is the kink that requires the most amount of sanity and consent.
Violence and SM do not go hand and hand.
It’s actually shocking that people can completely overlook the fact that after an intense SM session, the Dominant will go out of his or her way to attend to the aftercare of their submissive. This kind of aftercare is directly opposite of what many would classically consider abuse, and that’s because there is absolutely no abuse in the midst of a consensual SM relationship.
Some of the aftercare situations that you might experience will only strengthen the bond that you and your partner hold, and can make SM relationships some of the most loving, trustworthy relationships that you have ever had.
Why anyone can equate that sort of thing to abuse is something that we can’t understand, but it happens every day.
If you’re worried about SM kink, there are simple ways to integrate it.
Maybe you’re interested in SM but you just don’t want to break out the serious, hardcore play with it yet. We completely understand this, as SM is a very emotional kink, and it can be very difficult for some people to jump over that final hurdle and bring it into the bedroom in a fully sadomasochistic way.
That being said, you can always gently ease this sort of play into the bedroom with more simple pain and power plays. Pinching, biting, scratching, and generally toying with discomfort in bondage can be ways to integrate SM play without causing the kind of harm that many people are afraid of.
It might be difficult to hurt your partner at first, but once the two of you have established a report, it can be very exciting for both of you.
Learn to read their body language.
Like any power play kink, you need to be able to read your partner’s body language if you decide to jump into the world of SM. This is the sort of thing that will determine how much further you can actually go in your play, because sometimes, your partner might be overwhelmed but simply not know it yet.
This is why SM involves an intense amount of communication, consent, and trust. Without that trust, there is simply no way for the two of you to have a SM relationship that will succeed and flourish, so think carefully before you jump head first into this sort of kink.